#13: HIGH STANDARDS

(An empty stage. BETSY enters and stands firmly. She looks serious. Real serious.)

BETSY: Alright girls. Bring them out!

(Four WOMEN come marching in from offstage and form a line. They stop and turn in formation. They stare downstage stoicly. BETSY approaches WOMAN #1.)

BETSY: Unroll you flag.
WOMAN #1: Unrolling my flag.
BETSY: Unrolling your flag, what?
WOMAN #1: Betsy. Unrolling my flag Betsy!

(WOMAN #1 unrolls her flag. It's a woven cartoonlike picture of George Washington giving the thumbs up sign.)

BETSY: Too Juvenile.

(BETSY pushes WOMAN 1 off the line and perhaps to the ground. She approaches WOMAN #2.)

BETSY: Unroll your flag.
WOMAN #2: Unrolling my flag Betsy!

(It's stuck. She can't unroll it. BETSY is not pleased.)

WOMAN #2: It's stuck. I, the flag. It's stuck.
BETSY: 1... 2... 2 and half...

(BETSY raises her arms as to push the woman down to the ground. The flag miraculously unrolls. It's the silhouettes of many types of people holding hands. The letters USA are written with sewn flowers.)

BETSY: Too flitty. And so not Betsy.

(BETSY snaps her fingers and the woman falls to the ground out of fear. BETSY approaches WOMAN #3.)

BETSY: Unroll your flag.

WOMAN #3: I've been waiting for this moment for three grueling months.

(WOMAN #3 unrolls her flag. It's the words "BETSY ROSS IS A FRAUD" surrounded by stars and stripes. The other women gasp. BETSY begins a slow clap.)

BETSY: Done with your little show? When it's all said and done, who will they believe? Me or you?

WOMAN #3: You're a fraud.

BETSY: The Crusades ended a few centuries ago honey. You're a little late.

(BETSY grabs the flag and wraps it around WOMAN #3's head, blinding and confusing her. BETSY kicks her in the rear and she goes flying offstage. The others watch in disbelief.)

BETSY: Unroll your flag.

WOMAN #4: Don't hurt me.

(She unrolls the flag. It is Old Glory. Amazing craftmanship, color and design. It's flawless. BETSY stares, smiles and grabs it.)

BETSY: I sewed it. I finally sewed it.

WOMAN #4: But Betsy. I worked so hard and I -

BETSY: You're free. You're all free. I finally finished the flag. I no longer need you.

WOMAN #4: That's it - after three months - this is how it ends?

(BETSY throws the flag around her body like a cape or coat and models it in front of an imaginary mirror.)

BETSY: This is how it ends and how I begin. So long girls. Watch out boys. Here I come.

BLACKOUT