(Betsy's tailor shop. Her APPRENTICE, a quick-witted 18-year-old girl, and GLEN, an older man who spends more hours than not hanging around the tailor shop, are engaged in conversation. The APPRENTICE is a multi-tasker: always sewing, cutting, and/or shaping while she talks.)APPRENTICE: So I said, "For the fiftieth time, I'm not a Quaker"!
GLEN: (Laughing hysterically) The stories you tell girl. You should write a book!
APPRENTICE: My penmanship is horrible.
GLEN: Well fix it girl, you need to write! What are you doing sewing?
APPRENTICE: Oh, I could never leave here. Betsy's like my mom.
GLEN: Your mom should be like your mom.
APPRENTICE: (He hit a nerve) Well, she's not.
Short pause.
GLEN: Louisiana. What kind of word is that? All that new land! Can you imagine living there?
APPRENTICE: You know I met these people who said they went there the other day....
GLEN: ??
APPRENTICE: Two women.
GLEN: I smell a story. Bring it on!
APPRENTICE: Guess what their names were?
GLEN: I don't know, but you're gonna tell me!
APPRENTICE: Come on Glen, at least take a guess!
GLEN: I dunno. Betsy and Ross?
APPRENTICE: Wrong. Louise and Anna... Louise and Anna went to Louisiana!
GLEN: (laughing hysterically) You've got the gift girl!!!
APPRENTICE: They're inseparable. There's never any room in between the two! Louise 'n Anna! Louise 'n Anna!
GLEN: Whoa. Weeeha! Take some time off and write that book. You're hysterical.
APPRENTICE: Women are not supposed to be funny, Glen. (she holds up a sewing project) I must not "divert from the pattern".
GLEN: Bah! Girl, you are the pattern. Someone get this girl a quill and a bottle o' ink!
APPRENTICE: Aw, thanks Glen. You're sweet.
(BETSY comes storming in from the outside with a large pile of fabric. She drops it and sighs a mega sigh of relief.)
BETSY: These people want everything from me. Apprentice. Glen. Betsy. Huddle up! We need Washington's pants done by six, Reverend James needs his Sunday sermon robe done Friday, and the Adams Family order got moved up: they need it tomorrow morning!
APPRENTICE: Tomorrow morning! I'll never have the Adams family order ready by tomorrow morning. Those creeps!
GLEN: You can do it girl! Louisiana! Weeha!
BETSY: And the school wants me to give a speech tomorrow on, what else, sewing! For the lower school's career day.
GLEN: But you hate speaking in front of people B.
BETSY: I know. And the only thing I hate more is writing speeches! Yucky, women are sewers, not writers. Everyone knows that!
APPRENTICE: I could write it B.
BETSY: You? But you're a sewer.
GLEN: Here's the ink! Where's the quill?
APPRENTICE: For real, I can write it.
BETSY: We have pants to hem, coats to adjust, and that's not even taking into account the Adams family!
GLEN: Those creeps!
APPRENTICE: I'll do it all. I have the time.
BETSY: Hm. Well, I don't know.
APPRENTICE: This is all I've ever wanted.
BETSY: To ghostwrite a speech about sewing and then have me deliver it to a room full of seven year olds?
GLEN: Weeha!
APPRENTICE: No B. All I've ever wanted is to write. My mom always said I couldn't. So I didn't.
GLEN: (starting a cheer) B... B... B! B! B!
BETSY: Alright alright alright! Have the final draft on my sewing machine by sunrise.
APPRENTICE: (hugging her) Thanks B!
BETSY: Now let us get to work on the Adams Family!
(The women snap their fingers to warm up for the intense night of sewing that is to ensue. And to further serve the Adams Family pun.)
GLEN: Fasten your carriage belts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride! Weeha!
BLACKOUT
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